How To Survive Living On A Hall With Only Jocks and Bros
It is crucial that the following rules be observed at all times or else the fragile balance between Jock/Bro life and girl life could crumble.
1. When going to or coming from the shower, keep conversations to a minimum. Striking up a conversation while in a towel is not a sign of friendship.
2. Smile, nod, ackowledge their existance each time you pass them in the hall.
3. If you run into them outside of the hall, rule 2 can be ignored *
4. Keep all dormcest to a minimum (unless, you know, you have to…)
5. Never host a beer pong game. It will not be a good idea.
6. Prepare yourself for the nastiest bathroom you could ever imagine. Get use to it.
7. Don’t leave your room in your circa 1998 popstar pajamas
*do not ignore if you run into them at the gym, proceed with following rule 2
Yesterday Michelle and I were lying on North Quad “doing homework” when we saw some planes flying above. Michelle asked what the plane trails were called and why only some planes left them. Well Michelle…
Contrails: The thin white lines left behind by planes are called contrails. Every plane has the ability to form contrails in its wake, although they don not all always leave them. Contrails form when the plane’s exhaust heats the air around it, causing the dew point of the air to drop, which makes the water in the air condense on the warm exhaust particles. Contrails are basically clouds, which is why on windy days they can be blown into wiggly shapes.
On making the perfect burrito:
Initial Considerations: When making a burrito it is extremely important to start on the outside and work in; the crucial, yet often overlooked items will provde you with the greatest eventual burrito satisfaction. Firstly consider if your burrito place wraps their burritos in tin foil upon completion - if they do, the contents of the burrito are limitless since the foil will keep things under wraps (I crack myself up) if they are a shoddy institution and place your burrito on a plate (cough cough, Agave, cough) then keep in mind that spillage, leakage, and sadness could result.
The Wrap: Spinach, tomato or plain. The choice is yours, but choose wisely my friend.
The Yummy Stuff: Cheese. You can never have enough cheese in the burrito. As good as cheese is though, it should never form the bulk of the burrito stuffing, otherwise you basically have a chesadilla. Rice and some sort of bean should be in there, plus veggies, and what ever guacamoles, salsas, and hot sauces you like. Some people add sour cream or sweet potatoes, but those people suck.
The Result: You will have a heavenly burrito fit for the gods and you must finish it. You must. No matter how full you are, you will eat it and like it. And that is the truth.
My mom recently asked me “what is this hipster thing?” Well mother, I’m glad you asked.
Origins: My dad actually told me this term started in the ‘40’s and when I checked it out it seems that is the case. In the 1940’s it refered to jazz lovers (which is hilarious if you picture Tony Weiss at a jazz concert). In my vernacular though, I mean it to refer to anti-mainstream society-middle class-young people who are prevolent on my liberal arts college campus.
Clothing: Anything plaid. Anything ‘vintage’. Anything from Urban Outfitters of American Apparel (although no self-respecting hipster would admit that they support a mainstream corperation). Floppy mops of hair, scruffy facial hair and ironic tees.
Music: Anything deemed alternative.
Attitude: To achieve the full hipster ‘tude one must have a distain for conformity, a stong dislike of “the man” and a deap-seated ill will towards preps, jocks, biddies, and posers. The cream of the crop are vegans who ride fixed gear bikes, flock to thrift stores and chain smoke.
Further Information: Visit any liberal arts school or visit stuffhipstershate.tumblr.com
Editors note: Ignore the smiles on the people in the photo; real hipsters are way too cool to smile.
I got a poster of the Bond Girls from Thunderball at the poster sale. Michelle asked me what that movie is about since she hasn’t seen it *gasp*. Thus, the James Bond Lisapedia entry was born:
James Bond Films: For the sake of brevity I will only talk about the movies. There are currently 22 movies spread across 46 years and 7 Bonds. “Seven Bonds?” you might ask. Yes. Seven. Sean Connery (the best one, obviously), George Lazenby (he only made On Her Magesty’s Secret Service which sucked and was directed by an equaly sucky director), Roger Moore (kind of creepy but not terrible), Timothy Dalton (wayyyy too wimpy), Pierce Brosnan (started off smokin’ and then aged a bit too much), and finally Daniel Craig (I think he’s a close second to Connery).
The Theme Songs: Ok, let’s not lie, half of the reason to watch the movies is for the theme song and opening credits. These theme songs have been done by everyone from Tom Jones to Gldys Night to Sheryl Crow to Durran Durran (surprisingly their wasn’t as sucky as their albums). The opening credtis always feature barely clothed women and guns - sound pretty sweet, eh?
The Bond Girls and Villans: Anoth major draw to the 007 arsenal of awesomeness are the Bond girls. James has at least one main lady per film and has only been in love twice in the 22 movies (Sean Connery actually got married…but she was shot in a drive by shooting). There are always gret scenes on beaches, in fancy houses and at casinos. Also, don’t forget about the names like Octopussy and Pussy Galore. The villans are equally bamf since they get huge mega ships, fortresses, yachts, and white fluffy cats.
